verließ

if i wasn't born when i was

if my mother hadn't decided to go out
if my dad had chose to go somewhere else
if they hadn't come across each other

if they conceived a moment later
if another baby had been chosen instead
if i was given to another set of parents
on the other side of the world

would we still be together


whenever i think about my trip to europe last summer and the boy that stole it, it's comforting. i know he's still there. i know where he is, but he'll never know where i am.
if i would have stayed, would things be different?
oh yes, i'm sure they would be.
would we be together?
i'm sure that would have happened.
would i be happier than i am now?
yes.

of course there's no way that would have worked.
but if it did.
all would be right, i'm serious.
that was what should have happened to me.
i disrupted the cycle by leaving.
it was no one's fault but my own.
i left, he didn't go anywhere.
he was meant to be there for me.
i veered from the path.
and this is what upsets me.